What I Was Made For

This is a book of quotes by Billie Eilish. The subtitle of the book is The Little Guide to Billie Eilish. The best way to describe the book is to present some of the quotes.

My brother is my cure

I fucking hope I'm a role model now

It turns out I'm young

I would love to be a hot girl

I've never felt like a woman

Character Limit

This is a book about Elon Musck. Specifically of how he bought Twitter. It was strange that he did not perform due diligence before his purchase. Once bought, he feared the company was in economic peril. So, Musk went on a cost cutting spree starting with his first day.

He hired a lieutenant that contacted all managers. The question posed was if there was anybody who reported them that was worthy of keeping. The default action would be a firing. By the end, 80% of the Twitter workface was eliminated.

Elon had other crazy ideas. He wanted to just stop paying rent on the buildings he leased. He also wanted to cancel employees who travel from booking hotels. Eventually, Elon succumbed to public pressure. He anointed a CEO to replace him. However, he continued to be heavily involved.

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The Price of Honey

Honey was the fourth wife of a Barney, a super-rich tech guy. We find her taking an Uber to her husband's funeral. All three prior wives were to attend the funeral as well. An assistant of Barney had created a seating chart for the funeral. However, Honey proposed that all wives sit together.

Spoiler alert ahead. One of Barney's wives notices a very handsome man talking at length with the assistant. They worried it might be some illegitimate child. But he was too old for that. Later this man accused Honey of not crying during the funeral.

The stranger claims that he is Barney. He has intimate details of his and Honey's life. Including some mistakes that Barney had made in the past. Apparently, Barney figured out how to download his consciousness into the body of a younger man. Unfortunately, due diligence was not done on the victim whose body he took over.

The police came and arrested Barney, in his new body, for murder. Barney pleaded with Honey to tell the cops who he was. She said she did not know the man. The cops left with Barney in tow. Not sure if Honey was just trying to get her inheritance. Or maybe she was mad that Barney was cheating on her with multiple women.

The Spider Silk Scarf

Nora grew up poor. She ended up living with Ben. She is a thief. She steals items she likes. She stores them in her closet. Nora wonders whether Ben notices the nice things that a poor girl has.

Ben does a job. He works in the kitchen of a mansion. This is the house of Ms. Martin. There are rumors that Ms. Martin is a witch. And that she walks on all fours and eats pets.

Ben says that there was a duct in the kitchen through which he heard voices. Apparently, Ms. Martin was talking about an ultra-rare and very valuable scarf that she intended to loan to a museum.

Nora caught wind of this. She wanted the scarf. She finds a hidden coal chute behind the mansion. She crawls in and worms herself into the house. She climbs an elaborate staircase, and words he way down the hall until she is over the kitchen.

Inside Ms. Martin's room, it seems very narrow and deep. She turns off her light and goes into the room. She loses her bearings. Then she feels like she is in a forest. And a large beast is approaching. The beast is Ms. Martin. Nora begs for her life and promises not to steal anything.

Nora passes out. She later wakes to toxic fumes. She somehow gets outside the room and to a window, where she breathes air to avoid the fumes. She dials 911, goes back in the room, and pulls Ms. Martin out. The old woman spends 27 days in the hospital before waking up.

Eventually, Nora finds a strange cardboard box and her front door. Inside in the spider silk scarf she wanted to steal. Nora does not want it. Nora also finds out that Ben knew about her thievery all along.

Accidentally Yours

Christina tries to dial into an interview with Zoom. Instead, she crashes another company's review of their Powerpoint. She tears the deck to shreds. Then leaves the call. The interim CEO Jude tracks her down and hires her as a consultant.

Eventually their banter causes Jude to ask Christina out. It turns out they live in the same building in Chicago. They both have seen each other getting mail from the prompt mailman Larry. A bit unbelievable. But still a cute story.

Leave it up to Love

Lila got a book published. It was mid. Her publisher thinks she is taking away from their main author Elizabeth. Lila wants a contract for another book. Her published makes her become a ghost writer for Elizabeth.

The problem is not just writer's block. Elizabeth's husband died. And now she cannot even write a word. Her son Grady also is suffering. He no longer dates. Grady and Lila somehow team up to talk Elizabeth into trying the ghostwriter arrangement.

It works out well. Lila does the writing. Elizabeth gives guidance. Grady falls for Lila. Then he decides to back off, nominally because they need that book done. He then not only becomes Lila's agent, but also her lover.

Hot For Slayer

Ethel is an old vampire. She gets injured and is protected by a vampire slayer Lazlo. He just recently lost his memory. He keeps asking Ethel questions which she dodges. He knows she does not tell the truth about his profession and their relationship (he is supposed to kill her).

Ethel takes Lazlo home. They go out on the town and are attacked by an ancient vampire. They both get injured. At this point, Lazlo regains his memory. They default the ancient vampire. Ethel considers attacking Lazlo. However, he confesses his love for her.

Apparently, Lazlo has been in love with Ethel for a very long time. He now lives across the street from her, and has been spying on her for the duration of her living there. She drinks his blood, which he gives freely. We find that he has retired from the slayer profession. He killed all the hit men they sent after him. Ethel and Lazlo become a couple now. They travel the world. And sometimes they return back to Ethel's home.